From master connector, George Fraser, comes a book in the expanding line of interpersonal relationships through the same genre as Never Eat Alone, and the Art of Connecting. There is only ONE goal: Be a person of value and warmth who is blessed by many mutually beneficial relationships.
To enrich your journey, you must click with others to nurtue business relationships, romance, and the lady at the burrito shop who gives you free guacamole.
The three overlapping categories that organize Click are Chemistry, Fit, and Timing.
Chemistry is the magic mixture of emotions, intuition, and attraction that sparks bonds between us in business, life, and love.
How often do you meet a person and have a gut feeling that something about them doesn’t quite match up, isn’t it a barrier to connection? Don’t let this happen to you…
Truth #1: Be authentic.
Follow your passion and live the way you want to live. Be true to your word and know what you can deliver. Develop the brand called you.
Andre Ellison, 100,000 smiles 🙂 delivered since 1986.
Truth #2: Communicate with your heart.
Show others how you really feel, but first you must truly know how do YOU really feel?
“Interrogate your friends.” Accept feedback from friends and family to understand how you can become a more charismatic communicator.
Give people your full attention and listen intently. What can you do for THEM?
Live in the moment, allow spontaneity in interactions, and DO ask for that cutie’s phone number.
Truth #3: Love, Serve, Give, and Add Value–First!
What are you good for, seriously? Determine what unique qualities, ambition, and passions you bring to the table first. Then contribute yourself, in a manner that impacts someone’s wealth, health, or children. Do it with kindness and later be willing to receive when the offer to help is for YOU! (Yes, I will have extra guacamole, thank you!)
How can I add value to YOUR life? That’s what I’m thinking right now (aside from burritos).
“Never lose the lessons life teaches us, because in life we either win or we learn, but we never lose. If we miss the lesson, we are bound to repeat it until we learn it.” In other words, there is no failure, ONLY feedback!
Truth #4: Nurtue Your Relationships — and Yourself
Mind, body, heart, and spirit. All factors that you have control over and each will contribute to your relationships.
Read, sleep 8 hours per night, exercise, eat well, follow your instincts, and smile!
“Befriend people for who they are, not for what they can do for you. Everybody wants to be appreciated through sincere interest, empathy, and compassion when appropriate. “
I can’t put a finger on why we get along so well. We’re just a perfect fit!
Would you stay in a relationship that was going nowhere? Fit is about having space in your life to welcome new healthy relationships while pruning old toxic relationships.
Truth #5: Bless Them and Release Them
“Your five best friends tell the world who you are based on their values, principles, and lifestyles.” Therefore, changing your life often requires changing your relationships.
Fraser is keen on the concept of love. Love yourself (confidence, faith, and appreciation of self), love others (grace, forgiveness, soft and tender) and end unproductive relationships out of love for both parties.
Truth #6: Trust First; Distrust Must be Earned
Having confidence in yourself is key to establish trust with others. The way I see it, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more fine tuned your ‘Trust Bank.’ When you develop a new relationship, positive actions increase the total, whereas negative actions dramatically create debt.
Personally, I like to supercharge levels of trust in people I like. “Here, hold on to my watch for a minute.” If you believe in the goodness of people, this slightly risky action is actually an opportunity to grow levels of trust between two people. Besides, wouldn’t you rather lose a watch than your heart?
Truth #7: Tailor Your Relationships for the Perfect Fit
Platinum Rule: Treat others as THEY wish to be treated!
If your boss runs 10 minutes ahead of schedule constantly, then that means 10 minutes ‘early’ is actually ‘on time.’ So plan accordingly, your boss will appreciate how well you fit his schedule!
Observe the things that other people value, feel, and require. There is a lot of information freely available, so learn about others. Then tailor your relationship to them by offering something they value. Example: Boss is always playing classical music in her office, ask some questions, then later on send her tickets to the symphony. No strings attached, do you believe in karma?
If excellent chemistry and a great fit enable you to click with someone new, a thrilling new relationship awaits — IF the timing is right.
I once met a very attractive woman and we really hit it off, but she was married — very married. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, but there are ways to enhance the possibilities.
Truth #8: Make Peace, Not War, with Words
Think before you talk and regulate your emotions by stepping out of a situation if necessary.
Keep criticism upbeat and nurturing.
Frame your words to suit your audience. Use especially compassionate and empathetic words in times of hardship and crisis.
While reading my blog, you feel the relaxed language and you can tell that I’m not even upset if you don’t leave a comment. Your audience is appreciated and perhaps we will have a dialogue when the time is right.
Truth #9: Be Open to Everyhing and Attached to Nothing: the Best Idea Wins
Replace judgment with patience and curiosity. Ask leading questions to others and to yourself. “What do you feel would happen if…?” “What is it about this blog that makes me feel this way?” “How does Andre contribute to my life?”
Be willing to change the way you work and play. “Successful people are connected to seven groups or communities.” If that includes wordpress.com, then WE’VE got that connection! If not, facebook me so we’ll REALLY be legitimate. 😉
Truth #10: It Takes Teamwork to Make the Dream Work
Strong teams can accomplish anything.
Respect the roles of your teammates and do not unwelcomly step into their court.
Open, honest communication is key. Spending time with them is important, Fraser recommends as much as 60% of your time should be spend nurturing your inner circle. Finally, touch develops the human bond: a friendly pat on the back or a touch on the forearm while sharing a laugh.
Associate with people who are going or have been where you want to go. Focus on what you can do for others. And Learn more if you want to Earn more.
How I Really Feel About This Book
CLICK brings humanity back into professional networking and relationships. All relationships are personal, with the level of relationship often relating to the success of reaching your goals. This is a 200 page book that constantly drives the point home: understand what is important to others here and now so that you can add value to their lives.
Good things come to those who connect. The process starts from within: I feel good about myself, therefore others can feel good about me too. I think that if you follow George Fraser’s principles, you are well on your way to having healthy, sustainable, and ever evolving relationships for business and pleasure.
For the connecters among us, the unique perspectives and time proven principles presented in this book are well worth the investment.
Estimated read time: Six hours.
Check your local library.